February 3, 2010


The first day of the month of love. When I think of love, I am reminded of a comment that I hear from people time to time, "I don't know if I love him/her anymore." As I listen to their words, the pain and loneliness pour out like a sad song. After the tears dry a bit I ask, where did the love go? And after a few moments of talking, the realization that love did not leave, just the understanding of who they are has been lost in the relationship.
As we often do, we enter into relationships as a way to feel valued, creating a dependency, hoping that the other person will fill. We  have trouble filling ourselves. What usually happens is that time begins to erode the facade and we are left feeling confused and frustrated. Not only do we feel lost but we feel as though the one we love has changed. And the empty feeling of "I don't know if I love him/her anymore" enters in and the doubt begins. When we find ourselves in this situation, the first place to start is with the question, "Do I love me?" The loss of love in a relationship most often begins with the loss of love for self. We must learn the true meaning of love and recognize that it is self acceptance. Once we accept ourselves and eliminate conditions, we can begin to understand our value and feel love from others without conditions on them.

Dean N Nixon
Seminar Director, Life Coach

TurningLeaf Wellness Center