October 26, 2011

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October 25, 2011

SWEET AND SOUR... OR AM I JUST BITTER?

Recently I was asked how to overcome feelings of bitterness toward those who have hurt us in the past.  Further, how to combat the desire to seek revenge or to let go of vengeful feelings.  
A short time ago I posted a Facebook status that said “Sometimes the sweetest revenge is just letting go and moving on with your life”. It is not always easy to let go of the bitterness and hurt due to the fact that we equate the rejection and ill doing of others to our value as a human being.  We tend to interpret others thoughts and feelings as qualifiers as to whether we are good people or not.
As a young boy my mother told me a story of when she was little and how other young boys would try to scare her with spiders on the playground.  My mother soon discovered that by not responding to the boys as they presented the spiders to her they became discouraged and would leave her alone.  The simple act of my mother not focusing on what scared her gave her the freedom to move on with her life. 
We often times become too overly focused on the thoughts, feelings and actions of others.  This causes us to become overly attached and unable to move on with our lives.  Simply by changing our focus on what is real and what is important we can find the freedom to move forward with our lives.  By letting go and moving on we become unresponsive to those who have hurt us or seek to hurt us.  Over time, those individuals will soon become either discouraged or disinterested with their actions and stop presenting their spiders to us. 
It is not always the actions of others that become frightening to us, it often times can be the obsessive thoughts and false images that WE allow ourselves to obsess over.  That said, the solution remains the same.  Whatever we give energy to continues to live.  Whatever we refrain from giving energy to will soon cease to exist. 
Dean N Nixon
Seminar Director, Life Coach

TurningLeaf Wellness Center