August 31, 2011


Through the years I have found the key to emotional mastery comes through the ability to set healthy boundaries with our thoughts.  I have been intrigued by the obsessive mind and its ability to learn and process, dissect and rationalize through problems. Obsessive minds have brought out brilliant philosophies and concepts which have impacted our world; such as Einstein’s theory of relativity.  
Like every gift, however, our mind either becomes a tool or a weapon based upon how we use it.  The destructive side of the obsessive mind keeps us stuck in the past or in the future trying to minimize risk and pain.  While the whole time it is inflicting a continual stream of unnecessary pain.  It is important to understand that our emotions are driven by our thoughts. The task that is simple, yet difficult to master, is to learn to set healthy boundaries with the obsessive mind and teach it, as we would a child, to focus on things that are relevant to us moving forward in life.  The inability to manage our emotions can often lead to unhealthy habits, impulsive behavior and poor boundaries with others. 
Controlling our thoughts can be as similar to being a child lying on the green grass on a summers day, watching the clouds float by.  Often times a cloud would come into view that somehow would not fit within our imagination or reveal any shape or character.  So in a childlike way we would simply let that cloud go and focus on clouds that gave us what we needed.  Thoughts that enter our mind which often seem uninvited are given energy when we try to resist them.  If we simply accept the thought, thank it and then dismiss it, it will help in the process of refocusing back on what is relevant and important. 
The mastery of our emotions is our responsibility. Often times we give others power over us by allowing their thoughts and feelings to drive our emotions, rather than simply acknowledging  that it is what we are choosing to focus on and it is in our hands to decide.
Dean N Nixon
Seminar Director, Life Coach

TurningLeaf Wellness Center

August 25, 2011


Recently I was asked, “What does forgiveness have to do with accountability?” Too many times in our lives we get confused between taking accountability for our lives and forgiving people vs forgiving people and not taking accountability for our lives.   To truly forgive means to move past or move beyond the issue or event that we have either created or has been created by others.  To take accountability means that we may or may not have been the creator but we are choosing to act rather than be acted upon.  I have been asked many times if forgiving people means I have to let them back into my life? Or the opposite; if they have forgiven me, why are things not as they were? This feeling may be a result of others setting and keeping boundaries.  We may interpret these boundaries as a person’s lack of forgiveness.  It is important to remember that just because we are letting it go or forgiving doesn’t mean that what happened was ok, it just means we are no longer being held back by it.   It is critical to maintain, enforce and set boundaries in order to keep ourselves safe.  This may come in the form of limiting exposure to those that are unhealthy, limiting our conversations to topics that do not lead to unhealthy discussions and / or removing ourselves from the environments which these events have occurred in.  It is our responsibility to keep ourselves safe and take action with accountability in order to move forward.

Dean N Nixon
Seminar Director, Life Coach

TurningLeaf Wellness Center

August 10, 2011


A few weeks ago while facilitating a seminar; a friend of mine purchased a nutritional juice beverage for me.  As I sat and read the label I was struck by one of the suggestions that the product made.  It simply said this, “shake well, separation is natural”.  As I sat and pondered this statement, it struck my heart deeply as I realized how much of our time is spent grieving over loss.  We grieve over the loss of loved ones, time, youth, energy, work, etc.  Grief is an appropriate emotion for us to experience.   However, it is not appropriate for us to entertain and marinate in for extended periods of time.  Grief’s adverse effects on our emotional state contribute to the loss of focus on what is currently happening and it does not allow us to engage in the moments as they arrive.  When we extend our grief longer than necessary, we then grieve even more over the time now lost in addition to what we were originally grieving.  The mental toll that it takes on us affects our thoughts and beliefs.  It takes away our ability to reason with the current information.  It brings in past memories and assumptions to dilute what is true.  It also causes us to lose focus on what is important. The most significant toll is the loss of gratitude and the inability to see the things we are grateful for rather than lamenting over those that are lost.  Please don’t misunderstand, grief is appropriate and applicable when it is used to heal and let go of loss.  But, “Separation is natural”. It is not appropriate to marinate or dwell in the past for so long that it means we lose today.
Dean Nixon
Value Based Life Coach