I DIDN'T LOOK LIKE THIS WHEN I STARTED

Humans have a tendency to be extremely adaptable. This has been proven simply by the ability we have to live and survive in the extremist of conditions. At times I think to myself, “We have no business living in the desert when it’s 125 degrees.” Then I see those who live in Antarctica or the Arctic Circle and not only live but thrive. This is true of all climates.

It is this adaptability that often times becomes our demise.  A few weeks back I was pulling oranges from a box. I was intrigued by the fact that round oranges had flat sides where they had pressed next to another orange very tightly in this box.  I pondered how the natural shape of this orange had been changed by its need to adapt to the temporary living conditions prior to being consumed.  It was then that I realized we are also like these oranges and our natural shaped behaviors, thoughts and feelings can all be shaped by the environment that we allow ourselves to be in. 

I have often said that we are easily defined by our 5 closest friends because it’s these 5 closest friends we allow to influence our shape.  Take a look and see if you can learn something new about yourself.  Are you like the orange?

Dean N Nixon
Seminars Director, Life Coach

TurningLeaf Wellness Center

IT'S NOT ABOUT CHANGE, IT'S ABOUT GROWTH

What does this mean???

TurningLeaf has founded this motto based upon the understanding that the majority of human social issues come from trying to change who they are, to be of value to somebody else, rather than taking who they are and growing the strengths that are inherently theirs. 

Our philosophy is derived from the two ways that people are motivated. Fear or Love. We have learned that fear, as a long term motivator, is a defunct system and that over time, breaks down, creating repetitive unhealthy behaviors.  Love or “Value Based” motivation creates long term healthy behaviors, simply by helping people understand why they are doing what they are doing. 

Value Based Living increases the understanding and need to continue healthy behaviors.

Currently we implement value based living in all of our services. Specifically, if you have thought about attending our Value Based parenting class but wanted more information, follow the link which will bring you directly to our web page that gives a breakdown of this 8 week course.  (Value Based Parenting)

Dean N Nixon
Seminars Director, Life Coach

TurningLeaf Wellness Center

SILENCE

The restlessness of the day disturbs the stillness of the quiet mind.  It is within the silent moments that we can find answers to the struggles we are working through.  By increasing the stillness or the quiet moments we will connect to our discernment.  Just as the stillness of water reflects our image, the stillness of our minds will reflect the answers we seek. 

Dean N Nixon
Seminar Director, Life Coach
TurningLeaf Wellness Center

JUST ONE MORE PIECE OF PIE

The true demise of New Year’s resolutions isn’t the failure to accomplish them, but the intent by which they were set.   Most of the time we feel that the true failure to keep New Year’s resolutions is due to a lack of will power or the inability to stay committed.  In truth, the demise is set within the intent of why we chose the resolutions to begin with. 

All too often we allow external influences to become our motivation rather than focusing on our own truth, our own needs and focusing on what is healthy for us.  For example, getting caught up in the physical self-image that we portray to the world and placing high value on our physical appearance can often times cause us to be self-conscious or insecure about our weight.  We plan on losing weight, or working on our figure knowing that we will be attending a high school reunion or playing on the beach in the summer.  We work hard until we reach those end dates.  Once those end dates have moved on our purpose and resolution has now disappeared.  We find our motivation to continue to exercise and eat well starts to become less of a priority. 

If, however, we can see the value in the long term health benefits, we can now start to focus more on the value of why we are doing what we are doing as an internal motivation rather than an external. This can be accomplished by focusing on how we feel when we are eating healthy and exercising and focusing on the feel of the success of keeping our agreements with ourselves and commitments that we have made.  The New Year’s resolutions that are most often kept come from an internal motivation and resolve to increase one’s value and the ability to see ourselves in a long term healthy way.   

Dean N Nixon
Seminar Director, Life Coach
TurningLeaf Wellness Center

  Webisode: WALLS VS BOUNDARIES             

  

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IS THAT A PLATE OF COOKIES ON MY PORCH??

Holidays are a wonderful time of year.  It gives us an opportunity to reflect on relationships both past and current while growing closer to one another.  The holidays are a great opportunity to put ourselves in a position to serve and to help others...  to take care of those that may be in need.  This seems to be an easier concept for us to internalize than the challenge of allowing ourselves to be served.  We become accustomed to being doers during the holidays. We get caught up in the swiftness of shopping and preparing and our focus becomes directed towards pleasing and making other lives pleasurable during this time.  It is important for us to allow ourselves to receive as much as we are given to give others the opportunity to feel the holiday spirit and reap growth that comes from serving those around us.  It is my hope that during the holiday seasons that if you find yourselves being taken care of or served by another that you will take the time to reflect on the importance that they have placed on their relationship with you. 

Dean N Nixon
Seminar Director, Life Coach
TurningLeaf Wellness Center

WE DON'T NEED NO STINK'N BOUNDARIES!

I have often been intrigued by the many different scenarios in which parents have a hard time setting boundaries with their children.  Parenting is a challenging and rewarding experience and in order to make parenting easier it requires two specific things.  Number one is boundaries and number two is consistency with those boundaries. 

I have watched through the years as parents have struggled with one or both of these things.  Struggling to set boundaries can be due to the guilt of not being a perfect parent. It can also be associated with the desire to be loved or liked by their children thus creating a lose - lose situation. I have also noticed parents who personalize their children’s behaviors and emotions which takes away the clarity as to where boundaries need to be set. 

When it comes to consistency, one of the biggest challenges parents have is slowing down enough to give themselves time to follow through and enforce the boundaries that have been established. We are all extremely busy in this world today.  At times the last thing we want to do at the end of a busy day is to deal with the contention that comes from enforcing and confronting boundaries that have been set.  I have often thought of consistency like a garden of vines.  If we are continually pruning and attending to the new challenging growth, it becomes manageable and less stressful.  When attended to once a week, twice a month or even monthly, it tends to become overwhelming.  The thought of getting caught up becomes immobilizing and overwhelming.  It is never too late to call in a gardener and get the help we need to get the vines under control again.  Often times when it becomes unbearable and unmanageable, help is the only answer.  Oddly enough I have noticed that people are afraid to get help.  Embarrassed by the overgrowth and unmanageable vines, they hide their yards from others lamenting and thinking they are the only ones.  They begin to bring in the guilt and shame that acts as fertilizer for the vines and enhances their growth even more.

In order for parents to increase their consistency to set and enforce healthy boundaries with their children, it first requires the ability to let go of yesterday and to focus on how we want tomorrow while embracing today as it comes.   Second, without guilt and shame, seek help and engage those who have the skillset to help the overwhelmed feelings.  Third, SLOW DOWN!  Slowing down requires us to prioritize our values and to focus on the things that are important and the things that are real, letting go of the fears of what other people think or might think of the situations that we find ourselves in.

Dean N Nixon
Seminar Director, Life Coach
TurningLeaf Wellness Center

   Webisode:  GRATITUDE

                                                                                                                                                                                      

For more webisodes featuring Dean Nixon visit:

www.turningleafwellnesscenter.com/multimedia-webisodes.html

Webisode:  ADVERSITY

                                                                                                                                                                                      

For more webisodes featuring Dean Nixon visit:

www.turningleafwellnesscenter.com/multimedia-webisodes.html

SWEET AND SOUR... OR AM I JUST BITTER?

Recently I was asked how to overcome feelings of bitterness toward those who have hurt us in the past.  Further, how to combat the desire to seek revenge or to let go of vengeful feelings.  

A short time ago I posted a Facebook status that said “Sometimes the sweetest revenge is just letting go and moving on with your life”. It is not always easy to let go of the bitterness and hurt due to the fact that we equate the rejection and ill doing of others to our value as a human being.  We tend to interpret others thoughts and feelings as qualifiers as to whether we are good people or not.

As a young boy my mother told me a story of when she was little and how other young boys would try to scare her with spiders on the playground.  My mother soon discovered that by not responding to the boys as they presented the spiders to her they became discouraged and would leave her alone.  The simple act of my mother not focusing on what scared her gave her the freedom to move on with her life. 

We often times become too overly focused on the thoughts, feelings and actions of others.  This causes us to become overly attached and unable to move on with our lives.  Simply by changing our focus on what is real and what is important we can find the freedom to move forward with our lives.  By letting go and moving on we become unresponsive to those who have hurt us or seek to hurt us.  Over time, those individuals will soon become either discouraged or disinterested with their actions and stop presenting their spiders to us. 

It is not always the actions of others that become frightening to us, it often times can be the obsessive thoughts and false images that WE allow ourselves to obsess over.  That said, the solution remains the same.  Whatever we give energy to continues to live.  Whatever we refrain from giving energy to will soon cease to exist. 

Dean N Nixon
Seminar Director, Life Coach
TurningLeaf Wellness Center